33 years ago on this coming Thurday, our first daughter was born. Jennilyn was born on 6-25 and passed away on 6-26. She was born at 26 weeks and lived about 30 minutes or so. It was an experience I never would want to live through again and one I would never wish on anyone. It was scary and such a heartbreak!! Cliff was my strength, my testimony in God and His plan gave me courage and comfort, family and friends helped support Cliff & I through difficult times.
Cliff and I went to the cemetery on Sunday. It is good to go and ponder and think about family and God's plan for us. Cliff always cleans the grave stone and I take flowers. I wonder what she thinks of her Mom & Dad.
Time really does heal, lifes experiences and my belief in God and His great plan makes the experience sweet now. I often picture what she must look like and what she might be doing. I'm sure she looks in from time to time on her Mom & Dad. I know she knows how much she is loved and missed - but she sees things differently and with a much clearer perspective. What seems like a long lifetime does not seem that way to her.
I have her little bonnet and handprints and footprints that bring joy to my heart. I did have a lock of her hair in a special locket given to me by her grandmother, but it was stolen - the only physical thing of her I had. Even that loss has healed with time.
What I do have is sweet memories. A great pregnancy, the excitement of feeling her move and kick and hearing her tiny tiny cry when she was born. Those things cannot be taken from me and I cherish them.
A day will come when we will be united again. Her Dad and I have big plans for lots of hugs and kisses. She has 2 sisters and a brother to get to know and many family members to love.
Happy Birthday Jennilyn!!! I love you and I am so grateful that Heavenly Father has such a perfect plan that will allow us our time together.
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4 comments:
Thanks for sharing. I was thinking about her the other day and wondering how old she would be now.
I think the older that we get the more we come to realize that our experiences and memories are really what are of the most value to us. And what a joy for you, to be able to raise her in the Millennium.
I still remeber you sharing the story about her life with us when I was 13. You are so kind to let us in on those expereinces in your life. I know I am better because of them. I am so thankful for the Plan of Salvation. Where will any of us be with out it?
I guess I have never thought about how scary that would have been for a first time Mother. My sister lost a little boy that lived just short of 24 hours. I remember some one made a tiny little casket for him and my Mother made him a little burial suit.She lost two more and then was able to adopt a little girl. I'll bet you never thought at the time that you'd ever get over the grief. Age gives us wrinkles but it also gives us a little perspective.sweet post
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